That Dang Woman...


Now I have a disclaimer before I start this. My wife is my everything.  She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I love her more than I love my luggage. She’ll get it or you might, think Steel Magnolias; but sometimes, that woman drives me friggin crazy.

For instance, I will readily admit that I’m a backseat driver.  I want to scream at you every time you let that dumb ass in the left lane merge in front of you at the merge cones.  But then I remember my beloved wife and her driving skills and courtesies, and I think you’re not so bad.  I think God put her on this earth to test my patience riding shotgun.  Never in my life have I ever seen someone wait so long to get in the lane she needs to be in to exit the highway.  She will stay in that middle line riding the driver in front of her ass until she has at least 4 cars on her left that she needs to cut off or merge into.  Drives me friggin crazy.

But then there’s the fast lane.  I have a terrible driving record.  Probably because I race down the fast lane with every other dumb ass who has an extra $240 lying around to pay for a speeding ticket.  And I detest every single one of you for going the speed limit in the fast lane. Hence when my wife drives the speed limit or below in the fast lane, I almost lose my shit.  That woman will let 10 cars back up behind her while she just blares her music and strolls on down the highway.  Drives me friggin crazy.

As if that wasn’t enough, she will drive 45-mph in a 75-mph speed limit behind Grandma who is in the slow lane until she reaches her destination or needs to exit. She seriously doesn’t even attempt to go into what is an empty left or right lane to pass Grandma. I. Can. Not. Deal.  Did I say it drives me friggin crazy??? Smdh.  Anyway, she tells me that she drives her own way and to shut my mouth, so I try.  Unsuccessfully so far. 

I have a major life update to share! I started volunteering at a veterans center here in Norman.  I help disabled veteran’s or their spouses file claims to receive their VA Disability Compensation.  It is so rewarding and has given me a purpose. I absolutely freakin love it. Come see me or give my info to your veteran friends if they need help with their claims.

Well, that’s all I got for today. Take it easy and make your light shine wherever you are. Peace out homies.

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