Letting Go...


I’m on a new journey.  I believe that in my heart and soul.  I am starting to believe in my own thoughts and values.  In my own sense of self-worth.  I believe that I can be happy with how I perceive myself, not how I think the world does.  It’s liberating. I’m learning to appreciate that everyone has their own journey.  That I have no control over other people and what they want in life.  That it’s ok for their path not to continue with my own.  That sometimes people are in your journey for a while and then they’re gone and that’s ok because some stay on your path and that makes all the difference in the world  I’m trying to let go of my rage that caused me to hit a poor woman in the face last year.  That people, including myself, make mistakes and that’s ok.  I am trying to think before I speak. To not make knee-jerk reactions to my emotions. Again, I’m trying.

Jen and I just decided to buy a commuter crossover for better gas mileage and a family travel vehicle.  It’s a brand spanking new Kia Sportage.  Something I never would have bought in a million years a week ago.  It’s replacing my new Jeep Wrangler I was getting in a few months.  The one I dreamt of with one-ton axles, re-geared, gusseted, trussed, an absolute off-road monster. I wanted it in Digi-camo to honor my military service.  At least a 4-inch lift (yes, I finally accepted that I am too old for a 6-inch),
37-inch tires and 17-inch blacked out steel rims.  It was gonna be something else.  I would have loved it. 

So, my monster Jeep dream is gone for now.  I’m telling myself it’s going to happen in a couple of years when we are in a better place just to keep my sanity for the moment.  It’s semi-working.  The point to all of this is that I am trying to let go of material things.  I am trying to make decisions based on where I am in the here and now.  Not in the future.  I am trying to live in the moment.  Accepting who I am, good, bad, ugly and being ok with it.  Again, it’s liberating.

I don’t know why you read my blog.  I don’t know who is and who isn’t, but I want you to know I appreciate it.  I am thankful that you want to share in my life for the few minutes it takes to read one.  I hope I share something that helps you on your own journey.  I hope it helps you learn more about me and who I am. I hope it makes ya laff occasionally. I hope you don’t feel like you’ve wasted minutes off your life when you read it. May your journey be as blessed as mine is and may you always have peace and love in your life.  Until next time, take care.   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Right and Wrong According to Betty Spencer...

Image
I was raised by a grandmother who was a Pentecostal Evangelist in the 1970's.  Now mind you, a woman evangelist in the 70's was a rarity.  She was a pioneer in her time and could bring the rafters down with her fiery fire and brimstone sermons.  Her voice was a gift of God and there's no one to this day who can come close to her rendition of "I Want to Stroll Over Heaven with You."  I stayed with her just about every day while my mom was working.  She adored me and I her.  To this day, there is  no one who can compare to her in my eyes. Grandma Betty spent her mornings in her room crying out to God to save her family and to protect her precious son Stephen who was taken away from her in a tragic car accident at the age of 16.  Her Bible sat right beside her on her end table at the edge of her recliner.  It was worn and covered in red, blue, and black ink marks on her favorite passages. In the back she had handwritten a letter to God beggi...
Read more

My Dad

For those of you have known me for a long period of time, you know that I've had a lot of potential dads. My biological father divorced my mom when I was 5. I knew him very little because he was stationed away from me for some period of time until the divorce and even after, when he was out of the military, I saw him only one time until I was 8.  He lived 2 miles away from me from me during this time of 5 to 8. I didnt talk to him until I was 18 and reached out to him to give him my senior pic. He had tried to contact me at 16 but I was not having any of it at the time. When he was asked to give me up a when my 1st stepfather wanted to adopt me at 8. He did. My 1st stepfather came in the picture when I was 6. He ended up molesting me from 6 to 14 when he was divorced. My 2nd stepfather was a good man. He raised me from 16 til I was around 30. I cant be exact sure when he was divorced, but 30 is close because it was before my Grandma Betty passed away. I have talked to him maybe t...
Read more

COVID-19 and America

April 29, day something of, I'm too lazy to count the days I've been locked up, 2020.  Been here in quarantine for almost two months and finally inspired to write something...anything.  So what inspires me to finally write on day something of, again I'm too lazy, living thru a pandemic? Something to tell my great grand-kids about.  America.   Let me start with this premise: I have been following the Coronavirus since it was first reported in November, 2019. I have listened only to scientists. No politician or political viewpoint is responsible for the following thots. With that in mind, here is my take on how we, as Americans, have responded to COVID-19 thus far.  For me, America is not only home. It is also the nation I chose to serve, under the principles of our forefathers. When I say I'm an American today, I am proud of being one. I'm blessed to be in a nation that has pulled together to combat what might have been a once in a century natural d...
Read more