Pig 1, Pig Killer 0

So a pig wanders up in the backyard today.  I thot it was one of the neighbor’s dogs cuz my dogs were going friggin nutso so I look over and it’s a damn pig. I text Jen and tell her I’m gonna try to catch it, she says shoot it.  So in an instant I become a hunter.  I throw all my treehugger caution to the wind, load the 22 and head out to kill this damn pig.  Now before I begin this story, on my shooting skills behalf, the scope hadn’t been zero’d so I’m trying to kill it with a scope I can’t use.  Anyway, out the door I go, weapon in hand, and pig killer on the brain.
I walk out the front door and there’s the pig standing about 5 foot from me.  Jen has called me and I am on the phone with her when I tell her I got to go so I can kill this pig.  I lay the phone down and the pig just stares at me whilst I’m trying to imagine roasted pig for dinner.  I aim the 22 right at it, bam, and the pig looks at me like wtf.  The pig moves a few feet away from me, apparently he has found out something is wrong with this animal whisperer.  I load the gun again.  Bam, nothing. Pig decides to get away from me this time so I follow him across the road to the neighbor’s house, check to see if the neighbor is home which he is isn’t, and follow the pig towards the woods.  
The pig by this time has definitely figured out I am a crazed treehugger who has lost their everloving mind and heads for the woods.  I make one more attempt with the scope this time and Pig 1, Pig Killer 0, and he heads off into the woods until I can’t find him anymore.  
About this time the neighbor whose property I am brandishing a weapon on pulls in and I put my hand up to assure him all is well with the lesbian across the street being on his land with a gun.  I explain the pig story, he laughs and says he wished I would have got it and shared some supper with him and that he is worried about his dog now.  

Moral of the story?  Apparently the universe was looking out for the pig.  Second moral of the story?  Apparently I can’t shoot worth a shit without a working scope.  Anyway, Jen is proud of me for traipsing out there to take down this pig and I am honestly disappointed that I missed my first kill.  It was a cute pig too and probably someone’s pet pig so me trying to get this dead pig on ice might have been a breakdown waiting to happen.  My friend’s on facebook are all like we want video or it didn’t happen and I’m over here like, I couldn’t kill the damn pig period and you wanted me to get that on video.  Probably would have shot myself.  So long treehugger, you may have lost out today.  

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