Hey Batter, Batter...

If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I talk a lot of shit.  I like it cuz it throws people off their game.  Like my buddy who lost 8-5 games shooting pool with me on Sunday.  I talk shit, but I back that shit up too. Believe that shit?
I’ve been working on becoming a kinder, gentler Tonya.  The kind who doesn’t get the police called on her at the VA every week.  The kind who doesn’t slow down and block your ass cuz you are up mine on the highway.  The kind who doesn’t ask the fella handing me his church flyer if his church accepts gays only to find out he really just wants to tell me he likes my dreads.  
It’s a cunundrum tho. I’m a smart ass and raising an almost 10 year-old who thinks I’m the shiz.  That kid is living proof that nurture over nature is for real.  I keep telling him he is in for a lot of heartache, but he just laffs and thinks it’s cool that he is better at being a smart ass than me.
Baseball starts today.  Yayyyyyyyy!!!  I never thought the kid was gonna be a sports kiddo.  If not just for the sheer joy of ruining my dream of raising the next Babe Ruth, I figured he was gonna be one of those video game geeks that you have to have those long talks with about going outside to play cuz that’s what we did when I was a kid and I turned out ok. Thankfully he chose a sport cuz I never would have won the I turned out ok argument.  People, to say that I am paying for my raising is like saying that Oklahoma is windy.  Ma, karma is indeed a bitch.  
As the universe was looking out for me, the kid is a natural at baseball so I get to be one of those gleaming parents who looks on with joy at the games.  I get to smile when I see him throwing a fast ball like I taught him.  I get to sit on the edge of my seat when he gets up to bat and has a stance that a college coach might someday vie for.  I get to see him grin at me when he knows that I am gonna get on facebook later and post about it when he slides into home to score the winning run.  I may be paying for my raising but it’s worth every penny.  “Hey batter, batter, batter....SWING!!!”

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