Stupid Kids

The kid got up in my newsed recliner last nite and wanted me to read the blog to him.  The kid is the youngest cuz the oldest is over 6 foot now and would swallow me.  So I’m reading the blog to him and he tells me that I need to write about all my crazy stories.  I ask him which ones he is talking about because that’s most of my life and he says when you used to be so stupid and surfed on top of cars. So here is Tonya Spencer circa 1980’s.  
I grew up in Cement, OK.  A small speck of land in the heart of the oil fields of Oklahoma.  When I was a teenager in the 80’s, oil was booming and life was good for a bunch of small town, America kids.  But, in small town, America there’s not much to do so sometimes you have to get a little bit creative.
My grandpa bought me my first car when I was 16.  A Buick Skylark he got from an elderly lady that was in pristine condition and not at all the Chevy Camaro I had asked for.  Later, this spoiled little brat didn’t appreciate that car, and thus, ended up walking to school as senior, but while it lasted it was the party wagon.  
At some point while driving down a back road with one of my posse, I thot it would be awesome to “surf” up on top of the car.  It sounds just like it is.  You take your shoes off, get up on top of the car and surf while your friend, who is supposed to pay extra special attention, is driving slowly down the road.  “Slowly” would later become a subjective word, but “surfing” became a phenomena betwixt my band of hooligan girls to the point that we could squeeze almost four of us up on top of the Skylark at one time.  Fyi, no matter how good they made ‘em in the old days, Buick Skylarks were not designed to have that many teenage girls riding on top of them and the Skylark ended up rollin with a dent that covered the entire top.  A dent that, as I explained to my grandpa, occurred when a softball landed on top of it.  I was never a good liar.

The kid knows way too many of my stupid stories.  I tell him cuz he laffs and I figure if he’s gonna make me pay for my raising he might as well know why.  If you’re one of those hooligan girls and have or will ever share this story with your youngins then be prepared for them to bug the shit out of you til you do or don’t let them try it out.  Mine got to ride belly down on top of the jeep while I was going 1 mph in the parking lot of the drive-in movie theater.  The smile on his face reminded me of a 16 year old girl who thought she ruled the world.  Stupid kid.

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