Hi, I'm Tonya and I'm a...
Somewhere in my mid 40’s I figured out the sun didn’t revolve around me. This was after some much needed therapeutizing from my wife and you guessed it, my therapist. It’s a crazy idea. I mean who wouldn’t want to believe the sun sets and rises on their ass. Come on, it’s a beautiful notion, isn’t it? That everyone is put on this planet for your behalf. That the lady checking you out at Wal-Mart has it out for you when she won’t reload your Wal-Mart card at the cash register. A terrible phenomenon that results in being forced to stand in, gasp, a long line at the MoneyCenter which is actually designed for what the sign says. To be a money center for your Wal-Mart MoneyCard.
I’m quite certain, no after checking the facts I am quite positive, that I have ruined many people’s days. The aforementioned Wal-Mart lady, who called her manager when I refused to accept her answer while I was probably thinking that standing in the MoneyCenter line was beneath me? Yah, her, most def. I mean there was a perfectly good cash register there which had accepted my deposit plenty of times before Wal-Mart apparently changed their policy. Did they consult me on this? No. So I of course asked to consult and verbally assault the manager so I could fully inconvenience the growing line of people in the speedy checkout lane because I was standing up for my rights as a loyal Wal-Mart customer for decades. Really? You bought that? No, I was just pissed off and throwing a temper tantrum cuz I wasn’t getting my way. Tragic of course. The world revolved around me, remember?
I would love to say I won’t bore you with my rampages at the VA. But my therapist would call bullshit on me for writing something missing the facts so eventually I will. For now, I will simply say, the police there know me by name, address, phone number, last 4 of my social and probably a most likely to be most wanted picture at the VA security office. They have, in fact, offered to escort me to the nearest Po-Po station the next time they are called upon to visit me at the VA. Loverly, isn't it?
Want to hear more? Click like and share and send to 10 friends. Prosperity is coming your way. Just kidding. I hate that shit. Well, not monetarily at least, but perhaps symbolically. This is the story of two lesbians and a cow. Welcome. You’re well on your way.
I just love you!!! <3
ReplyDeleteAwww thank you. Much love back!
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