Falling in Love with the Enemy

Somewhere along the line I got it all wrong.  I thot that things like fancy cars, 6 digit houses, 6 digit jobs, the latest mall trends and all that was going to be read in my eulogy and attest that I had been successful in life.  Nope. That’s not the way it works..


I never wanted kids.  They were too much responsibility and for sure way too noisy and messy for my ocd self.  Kids were an obstacle to my freedom.  So what joke was the universe playing giving me these two kids. Universe 1, Tonya 0, so poof, at the age of 38 I fall in love with a woman with two kiddos.  Two kiddos by the way who for some reason adore me right from the get go. Now what was up with that?  I was the anti-kid woman.  The fly by the seats of my pants, spontaneous, I do what IIIIII want to do, when I want to do it, woman.  Kids would cost me my freedom.  So wtf were these kids doing liking me.  It was ruining everything.
Turns out I’m the cool Mom.  The one who lets you do all the stupid stuff like take a dare to eat a spoonful of wasabi and get blisters all over your mouth for two weeks.  The kind that lets you slide down the stairs in a rubber tub cuz you might actually make it.  The kind that sits up all nite and plays the new Madden game with you.  Let me tell you, kids love that shit.  And one day when one of them or my nieces or nephews ends up in the ER after an unsupervised day with Tonna, I will most def be the one to blame.
I get it now.  Stuffs not important.  My youngest gets excited over the $12 yoyo I bought him off Amazon more than the hundred-plus one he could have had cuz I wanted him to have the best.  He likes things like Tonna time which means sitting in the recliner battling it out on some stupid phone game he has gotten me addicted to.  My oldest thinks I’m the shiz cuz I can quote Dak Prescott’s stats last year.  I’ve figured out the less of an adult I try to be the more they drink the koolaid.  That doesn’t mean they don’t have boundaries. They do.  My youngest won’t let me get to 3 when I start counting down from 5 when I have reached my last straw with him.  He’s scared of what happens if I get to zero and I eat that shit up.  
So what’s the story of the 38 year old anti-kid lesbian who gets the two boys?  A love I never would have known.  The opportunity to contribute to this beautiful little life who grows up to be whatever they want to be. The little grin on their face when they realize I love them like crazy and am a complete and total sucker for them.  Yah, I get it.  Kids are pretty cool. Checkmark bucket list.

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