Drink and Razor Scooter

For those of you who have ever hung out with me for longer than 10 minutes at a social event, you know I drink.  A lot.  Like if i ever show up at your house without my cooler and 6pts you better hide your beer.  Yah, I’m that kind of gurl and as luck would have it, I’ve found a new stupid kid fetish.  Drinking and razor scootering.


Me and one of my buddies hang out just about every Saturday for drinking, shooting pool, and basic good times for all. I tend to get a little overly tipsy and don’t like to quit drinking when I’m on a roll so his kid has talked me into razor scootering with him to “sober up”.  Now, I want you to imagine the smallest razor scooter you’ve ever seen and a 200 lb drunk woman roaring down the roadways.  Funny, right?  You can just forecast the results.  There you go, you got it. 200 lb drunk woman is at some point lying on the ground detached from the razor scooter.  Nice.  


One of my last times out, I ended up with some broken glasses and cool road rash wounds on my head and both sides of one knee.  How the road rash ended up on opposite sides of my right knee is a mystery to me, but from what I heard it was an epic crash and totally worth the injuries for another “Here, hold my beer,” drunk story.  So epic in fact, that my friend’s kid crashed the other day and he said he'd, “Tonya’d it.” Awesome.  


And you think I learned my lesson, right?  Geezus, have you been reading my blogs??? Hell, no.  I took that shit like a boss and was back up tearing up the neighborhood yesterday AND not one crash to report as hard as I tried.  Apparently, I’m getting better at drinking and razor scootering.  Score.


I love mud.  Like knee deep I have to wade out to hook up the winch on the Jeep mud. If there’s one thing to add to your bucket list it’s buy a big ass Jeep and go muddin.  Then, don’t hold back. And...if you think you can’t make it across a hole and don’t go for it I will call you a puss but still love you, cuz now you’re my Jeeples and we are bros and/or homegurls for life.  Jeeples are the shiz and the best group of crazy people you’ll ever meet who never want to grow up.

So there you have my contribution to your life for the day.  Two bucket list items that you can do whether you’re 16 or 61. Elbow and knee pads are optional for the bold razor scooter drunk types but I’d opt out at least once and get those war wounds.  People think you’re a stud cuz you’re stupid as shit.  Welp, until next time, keep it on the flip side.  Later loves.

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